The Breach has acquired footage of Erin O’Toole being vetted earlier this week in a secret emergency meeting convened by Conservative power brokers.

We have also produced a footnoted transcript of the conversation below.

POWERBROKER #1

                  The things you’ve been saying lately about climate change and helping the unions…we need reassurances.

                              O’TOOLE

                  It’s just campaign talk.

             My family’s loyalty cannot be questioned. My father was a boss at GM, then served you for 19 years in the Ontario legislature.[1]

                            POWERBROKER #1

                  A “Progressive” Conservative, no?

                                 O’TOOLE

                 In name only.

                              POWERBROKER #2

                  But can you take orders?

                              O’TOOLE

Air Force. 12 years.[2]

                              POWERBROKER #1

                  And you’ve run errands for corporations?

                              O’TOOLE

                  5 years lawyering for Proctor & Gamble. And I lobbied Parliament for Facebook while at Heenan Blakie.[3]

                              POWERBROKER #1

                  Chretien and Trudeau Sr worked at Heenan Blaikie…right?[4]

  O’Toole flickers a little.

                              O’TOOLE

                  Enough history. Why was I told not to wear a shirt—

                              POWERBROKER #2

                  We need confirmation that you were ready for more jogging photos.[5]

O’Toole stands up.

                           O’TOOLE

              I am. I will take any photo you want.

No photo op could be more humiliating than pretending I care about immigrants, queers, or workers.[6] 

                           POWERBROKER #1

                And how about the embarrassing memes? The Willy Wonka video was only the beginning.

Pundits and colleagues will question your judgement.[7] 

                           O’TOOLE

                Anything to juice our social media views.…dupe the voters, and continue making record corporate profits..[8] 

Footnotes

  1. “Erin O’Toole is no ally of labour—he’s a conman” https://breachmedia.ca/erin-otoole-is-no-ally-of-labour-hes-a-conman/

2. ”Five things to know about new Veterans Affairs Minister Erin O’Toole” https://www.timescolonist.com/five-things-to-know-about-new-veterans-affairs-minister-erin-o-toole-1.1704946

3. “Facebook used third parties to lobby as it sought to influence legislation” https://www.theglobeandmail.com/world/article-facebook-used-third-parties-to-lobby-as-it-sought-to-influence/

4. “Heenan Blaikie, law firm home to Trudeau and Chrétien, closing down”https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/heenan-blaikie-law-firm-home-to-trudeau-and-chr%C3%A9tien-closing-down-1.2525051

5. ”Opposition leader Erin O’Toole promotes running for mental health benefits” https://runningmagazine.ca/the-scene/opposition-leader-erin-otoole-promotes-running-for-mental-health-benefits/

6. “Right-wing Dad” https://breachmedia.ca/canadas-right-wing-dad/

7. “Erin O’Toole has hired the U.K. consultants who helped Boris Johnson and Brexiteers win” https://www.thestar.com/politics/federal/2021/05/21/erin-otoole-has-hired-the-uk-consultants-who-helped-boris-johnson-and-brexiteers-win.html

8. “Tories hire Facebook propaganda pair to run online election campaign”

“Purposefully low-quality memes based around popular shows such as Game of Thrones were used in a bid to drive interactions – good or bad – at any cost, on the basis that this would boost the reach of future Facebook posts.

‘We’d make them really basic and deliberately lame because they’d get shares and lift our reach; that made our reach for the harder political messages higher,’ an anonymous individual told the Sydney Morning Herald, dubbing the strategy ‘boomer memes’ as the content appealed to older audiences.” 

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/23/tories-hire-facebook-propaganda-pair-to-run-online-election-campaign